Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Ah-Ha Moments....

On December 22nd, 2010 I woke up expecting an exact repeat of the day before....kind of like my own personal version of the movie Ground Hog Day! Each morning prior to that I had been falling out of bed, grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting quietly waiting for inspiration to strike. I had recently closed my store and made the decision to stop creating and selling the mineral makeup I had been producing for over 10 years. To say that I was at a bit of a loss would be a grand understatement. So every morning while scribbling in my journal I asked one question of the me a sign and give me some sort of an answer as to what is supposed to be next for me; and each morning there was nothing but silence.
December 22nd anxiety sat heavily on my shoulders dressed up as the weight of the world and I needed a momentary distraction, so I did what I always do, I checked my email. The very first item sitting in my "inbox" was an email with the following words typed into the subject line; "Heather, the answers will find you." I didn't even need to open the email because in that moment it was literally like lightening had struck. On any other day, I probably would have completely overlooked that simple line, but on THAT day, and in THAT moment when I was so desperate for some sort of a sign, well I was pretty darned certain that however crazy it seemed, I had just received it.
I'm not a religious person, but I do consider myself to be quite grounded in my faith that God is paying attention, he's just a really busy 'guy' and most of the time we just need to take matters into our hands. I believe that if we pay attention, we will find that we are given little cues from above that are meant to quietly help us along on our journey, but most of the time, we are so worried and caught up in our own lives that we tend to not notice the things that are right in front of us.
I'm not so narcissistic as to tell you that I believe God, with everything he has on his plate, took the time out of his day to tell me that he was listening....but what if he did? That little question is what changed everything for was my personal ah-ha moment. It was the notion that I mattered....little ole crazy me who hadn't really done anything exceptional to warrant the attention of the Universe just might matter in the grander scheme of things, and maybe it might not feel like it right now, but that knowing meant that I was going to be okay. So that morning, it got me thinking that if somebody like me could possibly hold such relevance in the world, than that means that we ALL do, and that each and every one of us brings our own version of something SO important to this human tapestry. It means that no matter where you are, how much money you you look, what your history has matter what, you matter!! When you allow that thought to wash over you, it can be life changing!
It frees you up from not competing with the neighbors, or being self conscious and worrying that you are not enough, it stops you from comparing yourself to every single person that you pass on the street. It gives you wings! It enables you to know that in the midst of everything happening in the world, YOU are an incredibly relevant part of all of it!!!! If we all just knew unconditionally how amazing we are can you imagine what that would feel like, what YOU would feel like?
I think a lot of us don't believe that we stack up. One million different circumstance could have lead us to a place where we just don't feel like we fit in or belong anywhere. But that can end right now. You owe it to yourself to unconditionally, at every moment of every single day, know that you, YES YOU are a MIRACLE!!! The moment you took your first breathe, you made a difference in this world. You might have days when you don't feel as though you're anything particularly special, but I promise you that you are! The minute you showed up on this planet, you were something special, and that has NEVER changed, not for one single second!
Maybe God doesn't a have big ole computer that drops little encouraging notes into our 'inboxes;' maybe that little note I got was nothing more than me so desperately searching for the answers that I somehow manifested those six little words to show up when they did. Whatever the case may be, the most important thing is that it made me stop to remember just what a gift it is to be here and that yes, some days might not go as planned, but that's just going to have to be okay! You and I, well we bring something special to the table every single day; we bring ourselves. And no matter what else is going on around us, if we can allow ourselves to really know that, then we are going to be just fine!
My wish for you is that today, regardless of what your circumstance are, or what you have been told, today you give yourself the gift of knowing unconditionally that you....fabulous you, are a miracle!

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